I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
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Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I need to sanitize my soul.