First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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