you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
