billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
