He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
