I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
cat food counts as protein by the way
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
