I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
