I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
