I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
