I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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