we made out on top of his cat.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
