Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
