I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
