Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
