i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
