Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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