It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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