I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
