woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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