Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
