Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
