I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
