in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
