Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just want nice things and good sex
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
