we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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