I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
