she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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