Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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