ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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