i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
