spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
