I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
