I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize