just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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