why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
