i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
No stitches, just platelets and will power
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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