when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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