just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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