you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
