1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
