dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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