Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
