i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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