WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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