So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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