Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
