get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
