you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize