My first STD was from a foam party
i can't believe i had my finger in that
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
