My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
