3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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