Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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