Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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