those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
