God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Then you guys just all showered together...?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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