smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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