nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
