This girl is more easily done than said...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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