david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
