Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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