Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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