I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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