It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He passed out mid-signature
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize