Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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