I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
